A happy marriage, Tara Parker-Pope tells us in her NYT Well column, is not what it used to be. A happy marriage, in 2011, is one in which our partner makes us a bigger, smarter, more “expanded” person. How do we know when we have one? One test offered by Parker-Pope is a quiz devised by Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey. Take it and wonder.
Answer each question with a number from 1 to 7, where 1 means not very much and 7 means very much.
How much does being with your partner result in your having new experiences?
When you are with your partner, do you feel a greater awareness of things because of him or her?
How much does your partner increase your ability to accomplish new things?
How much does your partner help to expand your sense of the kind of person you are?
How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?
How much do your partner’s strengths as a person (skills, abilities, etc.) compensate for some of your own weaknesses as a person?
How much do you feel that you have a larger perspective on things because of your partner?
How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things?
How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?
How much does your partner increase your knowledge?
The meaning of it all:
| 60 and above  Highly Expansive. You are gaining a lot of new experiences and reaching new goals as a result of your relationship. Chances are you have a happier, more sustainable relationship as a result. |
| 45 to 60  Moderately Exciting. Your relationship has led to moderate improvements in your life and some new experiences. But there’s definitely room for improvement. |
| Below 45  Low Connection. Your relationship is not creating opportunities that help expand your knowledge and make you feel better about yourself. Make an effort to share new experiences with your partner to improve your relationship. |
This test is a joke in the average marriage. All my answers to these ouestions would have to be a 1,and I have been married to this man for almost 44 years. I think a marriage is based on how much crap you can take without killing someone.
there is no quiz to measure ones love for each other it starts and ends with respect love understandingand great sex if you have all that life is great .we have it all happy for 44years
I have been married for 20 years and I totally agree with you.
Then it sounds like you’ve had 44 years of Hell.
I took the test and got a 48 and I’ve now been devoiced from her for several years so the test doesn’t really work and I did anwser it honstly. Rex.
“I really enjoy the outdoor work and the morning exercisers who help me push the podium into place, the anonymous strangers who send me bouquets of roses, the pedestrians who give me bottled water when it’s hot, and the drivers who salute me.”a conscientious police said.