Tired of arguing with your spouse? Maybe it’s a language problem. Researchers at UC Berkeley have found that spouses who use “we-ness” language are better able to resolve conflicts than those who don’t. A university press release reports that researchers analyzed conversations between 154 middle-aged and older
couples about points of disagreement in their marriages and found that
those who used pronouns such as “we,” “our” and “us” behaved more
positively toward one another and showed less physiological stress.
In contrast, couples who emphasized their “separateness” by using
pronouns such as “I,” “me” and “you” were found to be less satisfied in
their marriages. This was especially true for older couples.Their use
of separateness pronouns was most strongly linked to unhappy marriages. Geezer would write more, but we have to take out the garbage and clean the garage.
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Wednesday, October 15, 2025
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I totally agree with this. My husband and I have been married almost 8 years, and I feel as if we are “we” kind of people. When people talk to us, or one of us when we are together, we look at eachother alot, to see if we are on the same page, and also just to include eachother. Like we are two people, but one unit. I love our weness! :o)
I AM MARRIED TO AN I ME MY PERSON IT IS VERY HURTFUL AFTER 25 YEARS HE STILL SAYS I DID THIS THAT IS MINE. SPECIALY WHEN THE I PERSON DID NOT DO WHATEVER!!! SELFISH SELIFISH SELFISH!!!!!
My husband and I have been married for over 36 years. We have always been a unit. If we weren’t we would have separated years ago. In that time period we have gone through the lose of a child to SIDS, miscarriage and a tubal pregnancy. And that was on top of other things that come up in a marriage. Through it all we have kept each other from falling apart when the times were bad. Yes! We have had our arguments. But we decided from the very beginning that we would never go to bed until our problems were resolved. That has stayed with us for 36 PLUS years.