Hike off the Turkey? Good Luck

The good news, for people planning to hike off the calories of a Thanksgiving dinner, is that GORP offers a handy state-by-state directory of scenic hikes,
publishing the mileage of each hike and mentioning a few of each hike’s
most pleasing features. The bad news is the math.  Geezer has done the
math. He has consulted a calories burned chart
to learn how many calories hiking can possibly burn for a 160 to 170
pound man, and he is not pleased to learn that it is just under 8
calories a minute. Curiously however, he takes some satisfaction in
noting that these are far more than the 5.6 calories he would burn if
he were having "active sex."  Next, Geezer looks at the calories brought to your body by a typical Thanksgiving meal,
and sees the number 4,575. That’s right: 4,575. A serious number of
calories. Dividing 8 into 4,575, he learns that to return to the
caloric starting line on which he poised as he sat down to the
Thanksgiving table, he will have to hike for 572 minutes, or nearly 10
hours, returning home sometime shortly before dawn. Consulting once
again the calories burned chart,
he considers that one alternative to hiking for 10 hours would be
having "active sex" for a 13.6 hours. Geezer sees that as problematic.
He is cool with whatever. This wouldn’t be the first time he has been
told to take a hike.