Competitive? Save Your Marriage; Leave it on the Playing Field

Winning is a good thing, but it’s not the only thing, and it may be the worst thing for some marriages. That’s the advice of Dr. Pam Spurr, psychologist and author of “Sex, Guys and ChocolateSex, Guys and Chocolate,” writing in the London Times. Spurr tell us that competitive people tend to put their needs first, so every day they should make a distinct effort to put their partner first, even in small ways. And when the competitive urge strikes, she says, you should name your feelings; tell your partner that you are fighting the urge to outdo them. That strategy may be so disarming that your partner won’t want to keep competing either, she says. That way, you both have a chance of winning.