Does Equal Marriage = Mediocre Sex? The Times Says Yes She Said Yes

February 7, 2014 12:41 pm 1 comment

It’s good to09cover-master1050-v2 be fair; it’s good to share the burdens of householding, but wait, what exactly is it good for? Not sex. That’s the thesis of a New York Times magazine cover story headlined “Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?” According to a study cited in the piece and published last year in The American Sociological Review, the short answer is Yes, She said, Yes. The Times story, written by Los Angeles psychotherapist and family counselor Lori Gottlieb, reports that the study “found that when men did certain kinds of chores around the house, couples had less sex. Specifically, if men did all of what the researchers characterized as feminine chores like folding laundry, cooking or vacuuming — the kinds of things many women say they want their husbands to do — then couples had sex 1.5 fewer times per month than those with husbands who did what were considered masculine chores, like taking out the trash or fixing the car. It wasn’t just the frequency that was affected, either — at least for the wives. The more traditional the division of labor, meaning the greater the husband’s share of masculine chores compared with feminine ones, the greater his wife’s reported sexual satisfaction.” Wait, it gets worse. Gottlieb says that thesis is supported by her own experience and the experience of her family counselor colleagues. She writes: “Many of my colleagues have observed the same thing: No matter how much sink-scrubbing and grocery-shopping the husband does, no matter how well husband and wife communicate with each other, no matter how sensitive they are to each other’s emotions and work schedules, the wife does not find her husband more sexually exciting, even if she feels both closer to and happier with him.” Read more in the New York Times.

1 Comment

  • As much as I HATE to admit it, if my husband did ONLY “masculine” chores, I’d probably feel more sexual towards him ! While I LOVE the fact that he helps me out with the “traditional female chores”, at the same time, this sorta makes me take-him-for-granted, and in turn, the macho aspect of his persona is diminished somewhat – – – and, I guess, I end up feeling less sexually towards him.

Leave a Reply


Recent Posts

  • Eating Well Fitness Pain Walnuts Slow Prostate Cancer

    Walnuts Slow Prostate Cancer

    Yes, it appears to be true: walnuts slow the growth of prostate cancer, at least in mice. A UC Davis news release reports that researchers at the school had found, in a previous study, that walnuts reduced prostate tumor size in mice, but the researchers weren’t sure which parts of the nuts generated these benefits. This time around, the researchers used a mixture of fats with virtually the same fatty acid content as walnuts as their control diet. Mice were […]

    Read more →
  • Fitness Gear

    Ski Season Is Just Around The Corner. Are You Ready?

    It’s true that many midwesterners are less than thrilled with this week’s blast of winter weather, but skiers elsewhere are getting psyched. But wait, there’s something else: getting in shape. A quick review of the forest of websites offering get-into-ski-shape advice reveals general agreement on the benefits of two exercises: squats and lunges. The rest, my friends, is chatter. Livestrong.com describes squats as “the cornerstone” of your skiing workout,” and recommends that you compound the gain (and pain) by doing […]

    Read more →
  • Pain Why Scratching An Itch Makes It Worse

    Why Scratching An Itch Makes It Worse

    No, it doesn’t make sense. Why would scratching an itch make it itch even more? It’s like eating food making you more hungry. Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis thought so too, so they did some scratching experiments–with mice, of course, not humans, to find out why. Why? It’s about itch signals and pain signals and brain chemicals jumping tracks.  A Wash U news story reports that the researchers found that scratching creates a mild amount of pain in the skin, which […]

    Read more →
  • Pain Sex Another Bad Way To Treat Low-Grade Prostate Cancer

    Another Bad Way To Treat Low-Grade Prostate Cancer

    It’s called androgen deprivation therapy, ADT for short, and it works like this: drugs (and there are several that can be used) are administered, often by injection, to suppress testosterone production, because lowering testosterone levels has been shown slow the growth of prostate cancer cells. But wait. Now, from researchers at Tulane University, comes a study showing that for men with low-grade, slow-growing disease, ADT can do more harm than good. There are two reasons for that: one, low-grade prostate […]

    Read more →
  • Fitness Pain The New York Times’ Seven-Minute Workout

    The New York Times’ Seven-Minute Workout

    No, you don’t need exotic machineries; you don’t even need a gym. Here’s what you need: a chair, a wall, and gravity, which is widely available at no cost. Wait, you also need seven minutes. That’s how long it takes, according to New York Times Health columnist Gretchen Reynolds, to stay is shape, but you have to be willing to really put out during those seven minutes. Writing in the Times, Reynolds gives us 12 exercises recommended by Chris Jordan, the […]

    Read more →
  • Eating Well Fitness Pain How To Lose Weight: Stay Cold and Hungry

    How To Lose Weight: Stay Cold and Hungry

    There are some very pleasant ways to keep the weight off–playing tennis or swimming–and then there are two much less pleasant conditions that researchers at Yale believe could do the same thing, by turning white fat (bad) into brown fat (good.) Cold and hunger. Yes, staying cold and hungry could keep us thin. Maybe.  Yale News reports that researchers at the Yale School of Medicine have uncovered a molecular process in the brain known to control eating that transforms white fat into brown […]

    Read more →
  • Attitude Pain Computer Brain Games Are For Losers

    Computer Brain Games Are For Losers

    Brain games, the computer based mental challenges that promise to boost the brain power of older adults, are an excellent way to waste time, but they do almost nothing to make us smarter. That’s the opinion of 69 scholars, including many cognitive psychologists and neuroscientists from around the world. A Stanford University news release reports that the scholars, who have jointly issued a statement expressing their skepticism, say that while people who play computer brain games may improve their scores on […]

    Read more →
  • Pain Exercise Pain Predicts Broader Pain Threshold

    Exercise Pain Predicts Broader Pain Threshold

    How much you hurt after exercise is a good predictor of how much you hurt in life, according to research conducted at the Rutgers School of Dental Medicine, where they know a thing or two about pain. Researchers have known for years that exercise generally helps us tolerate pain. They even have a name for the phenomenon; it’s called “exercise-induced hypoanalgesia” or (EIH), but you knew that. Researchers have also known that some people respond better to the pain-diminishing influence of […]

    Read more →